We live every day in a constant cycle of having to sit in chairs and being dissatisfied with our comfort. The back pain, the aching bootys, the unnecessary butthole sweat, it is a travesty that we all endure. 

I’m here to push you to escape the lies that you’re fed about accepting to sit in uncomfortable chairs. Your parents, your employer, your deranged life-partner, they all at some point in time have made you settle for this miserable life of bodily abuse. BE FREE! Like me, you need to seek absolute chairmony. 

Since birth, I have scavenged the Earth for the perfect chair. The relationships that I’ve sacrificed, the prison time that I’ve served, the deaths that I’ve faked, are all in contribution to this noble quest. 

Follow along in my lifelong pursuit to achieve:

Chairvana